


The Birds and The Bees (and The Hippogriffs)

by scorpiusismypatronus



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: (he's demi but he doesnt know that yet), (not in those words but), ...right right yah tags, Albus is ace, Asexual Character, Awkward Conversations, Bisexual Male Character, Dorks, Gen, He's not to young to know he just doesnt yet, I knew i was a-spec at 11, M/M, Not to say all aces are actually demi!! a lot are just ace, Questioning, Scorpius is bi, Someone's gotta tell Albus about the birds and the bees, The Talk, Well he's demi like i said but he's 11 he doesnt realize yet, What am I doing, Why Did I Write This?, albus doesn't know what google is, i couldnt stop laughing, oh right these are tags, overuse of 'um', tags tags tags uh, theyre in like 1st or 2nd year, while writing this, why didnt harry just give him the talk? dont ask me, yeah yeah thse are tags i remember k im shutting up now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 01:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9945188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusismypatronus/pseuds/scorpiusismypatronus
Summary: Albus needs to ask Scorpius an awkward question





	

"Hey, um, Scorpius."

 

"Yeah?" The 11 year old glanced up from his essay, a smudge of ink on his cheek.

 

"Can I talk to you? _In private_?"

 

He shut his book and tucked his quill behind his ear. "Sure. I think the dorm should be empty..."

 

Albus followed him into the room and wiped sweaty palms on his robes.

 

"So. James said something and I think I'm supposed to know what he meant but I didn't and I need you to explain."

 

Scorpius leaned back against the bedframe. "Okay. Good. You're not mad at me. Ask away."

 

Albus sighed. "Promise not to laugh?"

 

" _Yes_ , Albus."

 

"What's sex?"

 

Scorpius blinked. "Wait, you mean your dad never gave you the talk?"

 

"Um..."

 

"In the name of Merlin's l- okay, um." Scorpius' cheeks were red. "Um. Basically it's something... people do it for fun or to make babies... or both..."

 

"Um. But how does that..." Albus' cheeks were completely aflame now, and Scorpius looked ready to join the tomato club. "...work."

 

Scorpius bit his lip, blushed. "Um, if it's a cis guy and a cis girl-"

 

"Um..."

 

"A cis guy is a guy with a penis. A cis girl is a girl without. A trans guy is a guy without and a trans girl is a girl with one and it's a lot more complicated than that but... yeah."

 

"Oh. I get it. So. proceed with the awkwardness."

 

"Can't you google it..."

 

"...what's google?"

 

Scorpius sighed. "Sex with a cis girl and a cis guy. The dude sticks his dick in her - yeah - um, and sometimes she gets pregnant. And with two cis guys - well - Dad didn't explain that, I had to google it and - um, nevermind. But a dude who bangs dudes is gay, a dude who bangs chicks is straight, a dude who bangs dudes and chicks is bisexual, a dude who bangs anyone is pansexual, and a dude who bangs no one and doesn't want to is asexual. That's grossly oversimplified but whatever, I'll show you Google later."

 

"What's it called if-" Albus chickened out. "Nevermind."

 

"What? C'mon, I'm your best mate, you can tell me anything."

 

"Um... what's it called if you don't want to bang someone but you do get crushes?"

 

"The first part would be asexual, probably, and the second part, it depends if you like girls or guys or other people or all of the above."

 

"Guys."

 

He'd known for a while now.

 

"Homoromantic asexual. Well, if you're a guy."

 

"I'm a boy."

 

"'Kay. Me too."

 

"So. What are you? I'm your best mate, after all," he echoed.

 

"I'm bi. At least I think I am. We're only 11, we've got a while to figure this out."

 

There was a pause, and then Scorpius said, "any more awkward questions?" but in a nice way, and he elbowed Albus in the ribs.

 

"Nope. I think you've unraveled most of James' crude jokes for me."

 

"Thank Merlin."

 

"Actually- no, just kidding."

 

"Good. Okay, now I have to demystify Google for you."


End file.
